And 2021 is here...

I can't believe that is already 2021. So much has happened in 2020, that time is not flowing in a recognizable way, at least for me.

Christmas passed, and that warm feeling that usually fills me did not happen. Christmas for me is about family, encounters, spending time together, dramas (what is Christmas without the family drama???) , cooking for large numbers, a typical smell in the kitchen ... long traditions that are so very important for me. This year Christmas was also robbed by 2020. 

We did have a busy Christmas,  two birthday parties, one on the 23rd and the other on Christmas day, the 25th! The penguin party and the crocodile party... I did try to make up for the fact that the grandparents were not around, and make sure the day was special for the two of them. We were zooming all the time with our different grandparents so the blowing the candles was witnessed... Kiddos were happy, but eventually our older did say '2020 is indeed a horrible year'... Our kiddos are noticing the pandemia, and what is indeed robbing from us, no matter how we tried to make it special they know that something is not quite alright. 

Saying that I am exhausted from all of this does not even begin to describe how I am feeling. It's endless days that merge into each other and I hardly recognize that a new day is here, or that a day has passed. And with is days are passing and a new year is here. I am trying to feel hopeful, and bright that there is so much that I can do in my current state.

Not all is terrible, and we have little moments of joy... These are some quick snapshots of moments I am enjoying. My new Christmas slipper which are so comfortable! We are having so many trails happening here! I am now taking part of a new one, a 'fairy trail'. Oh, and I so need so much magic!

I enjoyed so much seeing both kiddos's eyes enlarging when seeing the living room prepared for their little parties! 

Anyway, a new year is here. Happy 2021!

xx

My anxiety.

I often wonder how much I should share, or not in this blog. If you follow it, you might have or not, notice that I had a long period of silence. Yes, life happens, and time turns away from you,  but it was also more than that. I was unwell. To be quite honest, I am still unwell. I would prefer that my blog would remain lighthearted, that showed mostly the good times, also our ordinary times, that in the end are all that matter. But I also want it to be very real. This is my blog. It also is my voice, and today, not quite sure why, I need to share this. I need to write it down.  I need to share how difficult it is for me sometimes to leave the house. To get out of my bed. How my mind endures constant infighting.  This is my anxiety. This is how unwell I am.

I have always been a very anxious person. But, until two years back, I handled it. I recognised the specific situations that were causing it, whether a presentation, a report. Of course these specific situations would cause a normal degree of anxiety, it is normal until.... Until I could no longer handled it alone anymore. Until it prevented me to do normal tasks. After my young Baby boy was born, I endured one of the darkest moments of my life. I was diagnosed with post-natal depression and anxiety. I needed help to get on living a normal life. I experienced moments where I could not leave the house. I would not go into the supermarket. Spaces with more people where unbearable. I couldn't face anyone. 

Only specific tasks would force me out of the house, the pick up and drop off times from the nursery. I had to self refer myself to get help, and the NHS offered me sessions with a therapist, CBT. It helped me a lot then, helped me face some of the fears that I had, and mostly gave me techniques to resume a normal life. Unfortunately these sessions where limited, it as we all know in the UK the NHS has limited resources. And so, today, I am on my own facing my anxiety. Actually, this is not quite true, as I face my anxiety, so does my family. When I am enduring my hiding away periods, my family is also affected. I am quite aware of it: "Mummy what is wrong?" "Mummy has a pain in the chest and in the head" "Get well mummy". "I will." I am so very painful aware that I don't face this alone. 

In my past sessions I could face what was affecting me at that time, I could recognise what was triggering my anxiety at that the time, it  was very specific (however, I am not quite ready to share what was causing it). Today, I am noticing that my anxiety comes without warning. I don't recognise a specific trigger. My anxiety, my fast breathing, my chest pains come unannounced. I now become anxious about getting anxious. I am having panic attacks now, and I am anxious about having these panic attacks. Yes, my anxiety has grown in time. I still have the same techniques to face it, however as my anxiety now has grown more, I feel that my techniques and exercises  to help me coupe with it are insufficient. I have scheduled a meeting with my GP to get more help. In the mean time, let's just live one day at the time. Keep hoping that today I am stronger than my anxiety, and that it will not force me into a corner of my bedroom. Hoping that I will be able to walk out in the street and enjoy this day of sunshine without that pain in my chest. That is just a pain. No, it is not a heart attack. You had your electrocardiogram done and it was fine. 

My anxiety is crippling. It takes all inches of my racional thoughts and drowns you in seas of pure panic and fear. And you have to gather all rational thoughts inside you, one at the time, to erase this fear. It's a pure fight of two minds inside of me. My anxious mind, and me. I have to do all the time. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I hide in bed, the only safe place, and sleep, to free myself of my unwell ness. And with that I also free myself from the happiness the keeps happening downstairs. The laughs that I also am missing. Because when I revert to this half living state, at the same time my life is being stolen from me, and I hate it. I hate it that my anxiety is stealing me from playing with my children. I hate it that I can't regroup my thoughts and focus just on their laughs. In the past that was possible, now it isn't. I remember when my youngest was born and I struggled,  I could focus my mind on his breathing, and that would free my mind form my unhelpful thoughts. Now, these are stronger. Their voices are heightened. My voice appears to be weakened...

One day at the time. The sun is out and I can feel a gentle warmth in my body. Anxiety is at bay. Let's hope that today I don't have to hide from myself. I will pick my children up, and go play with them in the park. The sun is out, and we will enjoy this sun, and have fun. Today I will focus on that. Hopefully, anxiety today will not win.

Today’s thoughts: Kavanaugh Hearings

America yesterday stopped to watch the Kavanaugh hearings. News media all over the world attentively followed the hearings  and today   moving articles are showing how Americans all over the world stopped to watch the testimony provided by both Dr. Ford and the Hon. Kavanaugh. This shows how important this appointment to the supreme court is. This shows how the Americans are attentively following the subsequent moves by both Republicans and Democrats.

I believe that more than Americans are following this appointment and subsequent actions. The whole world not only watched the Kavanaugh hearings will be following subsequent votes. I, as many others, watched closely the testimonies provided by both Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and the Hon. Kavanaugh. 

I might not be directly affected by this American Supreme Court Appointment, I am not an American after all. However, due to the present world’s mood and strikingly divisiveness, I find myself following it intently. The USA is a reflection of how divisive the world is. This is not mere appointment, this is an appointment that will shape the American’s lives in the future, and mostly, the American women’s future. What happens following the hearing will reverberate through the world. Woman’s liberties, woman’s health, woman’s lives will most certainly be shaped by this judge, and during his hearings his position about these liberties where questioned. I am fearful for American’s women future. I am fearful for all the women’s future.

This hearing also presented what many other women have already repeatedly screamed to the world, but  our patriarchal society so stubbornly refuses to acknowledge. Its double standards. The inequality between men and women. The gender divide is materialized in this hearing. And to better illustrate this, lets look back in history. As many explained,  with this hearing, history is happening... again. Lets remind ourselves what happened almost 30 years ago: the Anita Hill hearing. Professor Anita Hill accused Justice Clarence Thomas for sexual assault, a painful hearing took place where professor Hill described the unwarranted sexual advances made by Justice Clarence Thomas.  At the time after  an unbalanced hearing where Professor Anita Hill was painfully questioned, Justice Clarence Thomas was appointed to the supreme court. A solitary female voice talked, eloquently explained what happened and was not listened too. Her voice was sadly ignored. Her better male counter-part was more believable. In a recent interview, Anita Hill explained how she felt that in todays society this would not have happened, that a background check would be able to pick up any negative behaviour, or any history of sexual assault. That society was more aware of sexual assault, and that women’s voices are listened and acted upon. However, this hearing is showing that unfortunately this might not be the case. As I am writing these words, the voting deciding Hon. Kavanaugh future in the Supreme Court is happening in Washington. This will be decisive in how much our society is  in desperate need of a balanced power between the genders. The Kavanaugh hearing is a stark exemple of how unbalanced the power between a women's voice and the men's are.

The Kavanaugh hearing Thursday began with a 4 hour testimony provided by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford illustrating what happened in earlier 1980’s. She provided an eloquent, compelling, moving testimony which still resonates in me. I memorized how she described the most painful moments of her assault, answering a question by Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vermont: ‘Indelible in the hippocampus, it was the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two.... In my expense.’ The pain endured by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was a result of a male bonding experience. At her expense, two teenagers bonded while one boy assaulted a young girl. And not only they caused her painful experience, they laughed over it. The revolt that I felt while hearing her recount is un-writable.
Throughout her hearing she was credible, she was compelling and most of all, she was brave. She survived a harrowing assault and was literally put on trial during her hearing attempting to serve her civic duty. She is nothing more than a hero. Her life was turned upside down, she is victim of life threats, her family had to move for safety. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford along  with her family endured all so that what she believed her  civic duty be fulfilled. She was well aware that this might happen, which was the main reason that she requested that her allegations remained anonymous at the time. The persecution of women (and their families along the way) who dare to accuse a man of assault is well documented. The victim is vilified, while the believed perpetrator is subject to what is now coined himpathy. Its beyond my reasoning why she was questioned about her reluctance to come forward. Again, the unbalance between men and women is well known.

I followed her testimony, and I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. She provided compelling evidence that this assault happened, and the accusations of a Democratic plot is nothing more than ludicrous. She told her story for the first time to her husband before Brett Kavanaugh was nominated by Trump as a supreme court pick. She told her story to her therapist, again before Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination. She is open to an FBI investigation. She provided witnesses to the assault, and until now, none deny her allegations. But above all Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has nothing to gain from this allegations and only to loose. And she already lost so much. Following Dr. Christine Blasey Ford accusation, other women described disturbing behaviour perpetrated by Brett Kavanaugh, which provides if not more prove attesting his toxic behaviour, doubts about his character.

Mostly, this hearing screamed how unbalanced the voices between men and women are heard. The female victim is vilified, whilst the accused (if not truly the offender) victimised.  Another example of how unequal this hearing was is reflected by the way the questioning of both Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Kavanaugh happened. Rachel Mitchel, a prosecutor appointed by the Republican senators, painful questioned Dr. Christine Blasey Ford attempting to find wholes on her description of the assault. Unsurprisingly, this same prosecutor failed to question Judge Kavanaugh throughout his testimony. Rachel Micthell was only allowed to question Judge Kavanaugh a few times, and after a dreadful performance by Brett Kavanaugh she was prevented to continue her line of questioning. If  Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was literally on trial, Brett Kavanaugh was allowed to dodge the prosecutor questioning.

If only Brett Kavanaugh could have skipped this hearing altogether… His performance was pitiful. He sniffed. He was aggressive. He cried. He screamed. He was disrespectful to many senators, more notably Dem Sen.Amy Klobuchar. He was aware of crossing a line as following a short recess he apologized for his behaviour. However the line was crossed. The disrespect happened which cause me to question, if he behaves this way publicly towards a woman Democrat Senator, how can I believe that he respected women in the past, or respects them privately? Mostly, how will he perform as a Justice Court Judge if he is showing bad judgment so publicly? How can anyone be assured about his impartiality, but mostly about his sense?

Through his testimony he was evasive. He continuously eluded many questions. He is not open to further FBI investigations into these allegations. His performance during the hearing casts more doubts on his behaviour rather than answering the questions that would reassure senators on his credibility and character. He mostly showed that he lacks the temperament required of a Justice. Sen. Mazie Hirono, D-Hawaii, when questioned Hon. Kavanaugh sharply notes:

Brett Kavanaugh  lacks temperament. But mostly, he lacks credibility, the most important character that supreme court justice judge should possess. If you are not credible yourself, how can you implement credible justice when judging supreme court cases? The world is watching America. Depending on how this story unfolds America will be dictating how further away from a credible judicial democratic system will be.

  

I understand that we might never truly know if a sexual assault happened, or who perpetrated it in this instance. This ends up to whether you believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford or Hon. Brett Kavanaugh. However I do hope that when the senators cast their vote they remember how badly Brett Kavanaugh's performance was during his hearing. Mostly his inability to be tempered. He did not acted as demanded to a Justice. He rather acted as an arrogant, entitled man choosing to ignore any questioning regarding any investigation about the allegations. This was not an intelligent way to conduct the hearing, having him choosing to act differently he might have been able to turn the hearing to his side. Some commentators concluded that he was performing having one individual in mind - Trump. Having read how approving Trump was concerning Brett Kavanaugh’s performance this was not terribly far off. However he is ignoring all the women, all the victims of sexual assault, anyone who empathised with Christine Ford and anyone who perceived his behaviour as entitled, aggressive and disrespectful. The way the committee acts and votes now will also enlighten and measure  the weight of the women's voices are, now and in the future.  

I began by mentioning the inequality present in society today. Not only the hearing results will unfold America’s supreme court future, it will also show how further away from a equal gendered society we are. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford whole life was turned upside down by a boys sexual assault. Depending on how the story unfolds and whom you believe, this boy might be rewarded with a life position in front of the America’s supreme court, dictating (in)justice. What about Dr. Christine Blasey Ford? A life free of sexual assault or its consequences will never happen, but at  least I do hope that one day she finds herself justice, and the knowledge that her voice was truly heard. 
In-between, our fight for a society gender-equal needs to go on.

Friday’s Thoughts: Tales of invisible children.

I am writing this post because  I was shown and read recently about a case that happened in Southampton no more than three months ago. A case where a newborn baby, merely 5 days old, was removed from the parents guard and that may be post to adoption (or might already have been adopted). Of course, parents are fighting with all their strength to get their baby back. I can’t possible imagine what these parents are going through. I simply can’t.

I have read so many news and have seen so many controversial (as this article about an Italian mother's c-section and its more comprehensive counter-part) articles on the media about Social Services and child care.  Naturally, getting the facts straight is difficult if not impossible when dealing with such sensitive situations. Nevertheless I still want to believe.
I want to believe that the UK has an honest and sensible Social Service at work.
I want to believe that the Social Services in Southampton are truly looking out for the best interest of the children living in their council.

It is terrifying to learn that a newborn can be removed from parents (and looking at past cases, even from the mother’s womb!), with apparently no reasonable or well backed up reason, or at least not known. One thing is to act and to ensure that all is well with a baby, to accompany and monitor the situation. Other thing entirely different is to permanently remove a child from the family care and place him/her for a closed adoption - a forced adoption.

I ask myself, do Social Services  have enough evidence to take this action?
What are the alleged reasons that could justify such extreme act?
But there’s no known answer. And the public will never know.

And this is the key factor of what is wrong with this current child protection system. All cases that involve children and go to Family Court happen behind closed doors, surrounded by secrecy,  and no-one will ever  learn the grounds behind these decisions which leave devastated families behind. Parents are gagged, and cannot tell their tales.
Social Services and the Child Protection System have all the power in these situations. Some may even go so far to claim that few Social Services cases are corrupted, files changed or go missing to back up their claim over the child.  A well known MP also states that parents never get an honest family trial and goes so far to recommend parents to flee the UK with their children if possible, once Social Services are activated. An underground network is already set to support families in these situations, to help them leave the country and start a new life abroad.  We end up reading about parents losing their children in the news, as this one or this similar story from before. But in fairness, the aftermath shown in the media only portraits one side of the story. The family side. We never get a chance to learn the side of the Social Services, and the whole truth is hidden behind ’the need for confidentiality’.  This  also prevents any scrutiny regarding Social Services proceedings, including finding of any real evidence of effectivity for these same actions. Any event has no accountability, in any way. 

It is  also well known the reason why Social Services may be so quick to remove a child from their parents care. They wish to prevent a tragic and heart-breaking case as Baby P. Social Services got persecuted and scrutenized in the media for failing Baby P. But we have to be cautious when attributing the blame, and even more when attempting to avert past mistakes. Policy changes and reforms when needed to happen have to consider  the realities and the complexities of the social work, and some claim that recent policy changes  have turned social workers into managers and away from the field work. Acting fast, although with weak evidence can only lead to disaster. Moreover when these measures are permanent and tear families apart.

Which brings me back to the first case I started to write about. A newborn baby was removed from his family care by the Southampton Social Services. I feel for the family, truly feel, nevertheless I don’t know the reasons claimed by the Social Services to act. I want to believe that there was a credible cause to proceed so radically. The family however claims that the reason behind the baby’s removal  are adoption targets that the Southampton Social Services may have to meet, which is also rewarded with fostering grants. However, these same targets are disputed by social workers, as a recent article also shows that adoption rates are falling due to court rulings.

Unfortunately, I will never know the truth behind this story. Until Social Services processes and Family Court are transparent, the public will never know. Nevertheless, and unarguably,  the UK shows a clear unbalanced situation in the child protection system, where state and professional workers have more power than parents but without accountability. It is also  known that United Kingdom is the only european country where forced adoption happens due to ‘risk of emotional abuse‘. If I understand, and completely agree that the welfare and well being of a child has to be paramount in any given situation, I also believe that any parent has the right to defend  their family in a fair, well-balanced and transparent system.

I can only hope that these invisible children, that are not known and whose family life is devised behind closed doors are truly given the best future possible. I just know that  parents and families are left distraught and feeling prejudiced.
Rightly so? I don’t know.

Want to know more?

Personal website about the social services policies and work through the eyes of a previous social worker: The Barefoot social worker blog

Dispatches episode which describes child protection procedures and practices in the social care institution :  Dispatches - The undercover social worker

Community web site about the Social  Services: Community Care

Documentary through parents’ perspective whose children were removed  by Social Services: Traffic

Documentary that exposes forced adoption cases: Exposure - Please don’t take my child

January 2016 already?!?

Oh my, where did the time go?

I have been so very busy lately that I haven't post at all... 

If you follow any of my other accounts, I have showed glimpses of some of my latest makings... I started a couple of posts about them, but I just haven't finished those properly and so I have so many drafts posts on "to be published" waiting list...

I suppose this is normal, because December is always such a very busy month, meeting family and celebrating Christmas. And then, there's the gifting. This year I decided that most gifts for the younger members of my family and dear friends would be handmade. So the past month was all about softies and embroidery projects:

I will later on write a post about each project, the softies templates and embroidery stitches, at least my favourite ones.

I was also chosen to be the godmother of my nephew, who was christened in December as well, and so I made a very special project for his Christening day. And for the very first time, I tried machine embroidery (although I am not quite sure that could be called machine embroidery...)...

I tried to recreate the little angel featuring in the silver medallion, another of our christening gifts. It was quite difficult for me to do all the sharp turns and curves...

Along with all this little projects theres also what normally fills your day, your work, your regular house chores, and of course play time with DS! So literally, these days just flown by.

I am currently working on my ATC card. This is definitely a project that I have to finish quite soon, as it has to be posted this month. This is a very exciting project, with a lovely theme 'cozy'....! very appropriate for this cold season, where you just want to stay at home, by your fireplace, with a hot cup of hot chocolate  and warm socks...

I will be working on that project this weekend, so I hope to have a post about it soon.

Is Europe loosing its humanity?

Maybe it is.... However,  today was was center stage to a call to action which made me hope that there is some compassion left. It did take a horrifying photo to move people. It did take the preventable death of a tiny child on a Turkish beach. It did take the death of his older brother. It took the death of their mother as well. And the hundred other deaths on loris. And so much more horrible deaths that were happening since this refugee crise started months ago.

I started to write this post a while back, because I was appalled with the insensitivity of the UK government, and its inertia to act on this matter.  I was also horrified when reading the news of more dead migrants found suffocated in a lorry, and by the news of more migrants drowning at sea. And then today emerged the horrible image that would bring tears to every parent. That broke my heart. That is still making me shed same tears while writing these words. I don't know anyone who could bear such sight.

But more than being horrified by the news were the comments that followed. I won’t even comment Katie Hopkins words.  How can we call ourselves humans when we are so quick to disregard the horror these people are facing. We are forgetting that they are risking, and indeed giving their lives away for a chance of escaping the horrors of a devastating war. People are more worried about keeping their lifestyle, worrying about a country’s budget and comparing numbers of which country is actively accepting more asylum requests. Germany claims for a quota to be enforced in Europe.  But all heavy work is carried by Italy and an already overloaded Greece. 

I am appalled at these governments worrying about enforcing borders rather than actively helping this people.

Numbers, policies, budget, none of this matters.

People do.  

Helping people matter.  These are people, much more than just numbers and statistics. These are people, deserving a minimum of decency, dignity and respect. But above all, humanity. They deserve a minimum of help at a chance of a better life. Of having, indeed a life! And in the end this is their right! Refugees have the right to seek asylum!

Media is splashed with headlines that point out the amount of lives lost at sea and what comes out of this, rather than having people saved, are policies to be enforced on preventing illegal emigration.  And again, comments show that people are more worried of preventing net migration. Which is a completely different issue altogether!

Adam Taylor, quite rightly so, draws the attention to thedifference between migrant and refugee.  As this is indeed a refugee problem, not at all a migrant one. I don’t understand why BBC still talks about migrants when Europe at the moment is dealing with refugees. Even so, I would stand by the need of saving and helping anyone, being either migrant or refugee.  A piece of paper supporting your refugee status doesn't mean anything at all. In my opinion, anyone running away from their country to save their life, is a refugee. Wikipedia supports this idea.... In the end, definitions don't matter at all when we are saving lives. But we do have to keep in mind and be very clear that the bodies found belong to refugees, seeking asylum, dying whilst attempting to escape a country plagued by war.

Being empathic, showing compassion, showing humanity towards these people is urgent. We urgently need to address this, stop discussing politics and actively send help.  

Germans are coming together, and so many volunteers are helping these refugees. And UK volunteers are beginning to do the same. Not all hope is gone. There’s still humanity around. I am hopeful that UK government will soon show some humanity too.
However, I am still deeply saddened that it took a child’s preventable death horrifying the media for this turn of action. It took one more family to die whilst trying to escape war.  As if it was not enough all the deaths that happened in the past. And unfortunately will still happen.

 

I am linking up:

 

 

Our Saturday!

What a lovely sunny day we had today! And what a prolific day we had... Quite different from our previous Saturdays, I might add...

Our morning started quite early as usual, and I was feeling like having something special for breakfast, must be the GBBO effect, and so we started our day by baking scones. Of course, I had a little special helper with me for the entire process...:

The scones were really tasty, I might start a tradition now, as we both had lots on fun while baking. The little one is a keen observer and absolutely loves all things new! Baking with mummy was such new experience, he loved adding all the ingredients, mixing up the dough... And especially having a try of the final product!

After breakfast, we went outside, and enjoy the sunny weather with a bit of gardening... Daddy loves gardening, having a back garden is like having a new toy for this grownup! While daddy was gardening, the little one was having fun in the sun.

And to enjoy this weather and making the most of our garden today, nothing better than a little family BBQ! Sorry but no pictures to show this... We were enjoying ourselves and forgot to take some nice pictures! Next time!

Our day finished with some fun in the local playground, noticed the change of clothes? Someone enjoyed too much the BBQ and a quick change was demanded!

And how did your Saturday go? 

Did you enjoy the sunny day?

I am linking up:

 

My Monday Making: Preparing for another ATC swap!

Little by little my routine resumes its normal self. I still have tons of reading to do,... and this reading list keeps piling up!

And this image does not include my pdf collection... nor today's articles... It's just a small percentage of my 'books to read' list. That were suppose to be read a long, long time ago...

But today as it is Monday it's all about my little one. I spent most of the Monday entertaining my little man, we played with Lego, we explored more of our little garden, played some music on his xylophone... 

And he helped me out with some house chores,... yes, he his a really good helper, spreading my laundry all over the garden when I was hanging the clothes out to dry! So, lots and lots of fun today!

However, even with all this excitement, a small corner of my mind was focusing on a little project, the next ATC swap. This time around the theme is 'My favourite...'. It is a perfect theme, as it opens to a multitude of choices.

I was inspired by a take of a fellow swaper, and so at the moment I am focusing on paint art done by one of my favourite artists, Miro:

From left-right, top-down:

Blue II, Blue III, The Gold of the Azure, Harlequin's Carnival

I have been to the Pompidou and was privileged enough as I've seen the Blue's paintings in person... These are massive and really impressive paintings, and seems to me a fun concept to do this is a tiny version as a ATC card. 

I am just not sure that I would do justice to any of these paintings with my still very amatouristic skills on both sewing and embroidery.... However the 'Gold of the Azure' is sure tempting me... I also love 'Harlequin's Carnival', and reproducing just a tiny scene of the painting is another alternative. One of the things I really love about these paintings are the bold colours, as I love the contrasts between these.... I have some fabrics leftovers on my crafts box, so is a matter of finding the perfect match and start it on!

Have a great week!