I wanted to write about my breastfeeding experience for so
long, it’s a subject that is really close and emotional for me, and one post
will not cover it entirely…So I will be dividing it into several posts. At this
point I will be focusing on my experience in breastfeeding in public, and write
a general reflection on this matter.
I wanted to write about breastfeeding in public for a long
time, but not exactly knowing why (or maybe I do), I have been daunted by the
prospect of actually doing it. But today I gain a bit of courage and I am doing
it, writing it!
You might be aware that in the UK breastfeeding in public is still marginalized, and mothers are still subjected to insults. Even though a
mother that is breastfeeding is protected by law, through the Equality Act,
discrimination still occurs. Before breastfeeding, I was completely illiterate
on this matter, and had to check it out. The law clearly states that service
providers must not refuse to serve a breastfeeding mother or even refusing to
serve one, and is protected is public spaces as parks, public buildings and
public transport. Read about it here.
As you may have realized, I fully support this act, breastfeeding
in public. In my short experience breastfeeding (I have been breastfeeding
since December 2013, and I am still breastfeeding), I have been breastfeeding
in public in quite different spaces, either public, or not. What made write
this post, gain the courage? Because even though the law protects breastfeeding
in public, there’s still an underlying message that we are not supposed to do
it.
Breastfeeding by Carolyne Dubé
Retreived on Public Domain
A couple weeks ago, I went to Debenhams, and while going to the
diaper changing facility I found a breastfeeding mum there. I looked at her,
and then continued to the diaper changing facility and changed my baby. At the
time I wanted to tell her that she might feel more conformable in some other
space, as the Debenhams coffee shop, but I refrain in doing so. I thought that I was
being intrusive.
But that got me thinking, what would make a mother
feel more comfortable breastfeeding her baby in the middle of the loo, where other
mothers change their babies nappies? I would certainly not feel comfortable
there, and I don’t. Actually, one of the first places that I breastfeed in
public was at the Debenhams coffee shop, and I did it freely and without any
discrimination. This is actually one of my go-to coffee shops when I need a
space to breastfeed. In the beginning I even used a muslin to cover us, but
then one of the waiters said that I didn’t need to use it, if I was more comfortable
without a cover… Other of my very favourite spaces for breastfeeding is John
Lewis’ The Place to eat. I go there regularly at tea time, almost every day. No-one
ever criticized me there. I absolutely love going there, where my baby comfortable
breastfeeds while I have a cup of tea followed by a slice of cake….
What I can’t actually explain properly is the sublimed
message. John Lewis happens to be one of the places where they have a spot for
you to breastfeed. One could think, great some specific space for that!
But that’s not how I feel about it. Firstly, the space is absolutely
depressing, it’s a small corner, without any windows, natural light, where
you are crammed against a wall, and again, is part of the nappy changing
facilities. So, it may get a bit smelly, and is definitely not comfortable at
all! Babies' r 'us is a second space that have a spot specifically designed for
breastfeeding and formula feeding. And this one is simply terrible. Again,
without any windows or natural light,it is the tiniest room, only has a space for
just one sofa. Very uncomfortable! And this really got me really upset, because
one would think that a superstore as Babies’r’us would be more considerate
towards breastfeeding mothers!
A general assumption is that providing these spaces is a
good think, but I actually think that is the opposite. And why is that? Because
breastfeeding mothers may feel compelled to use these spaces, and choose not do it publicly, even if that is more
appropriate (comfortably wise at least). Plus, these spaces are just nappy
changing spaces with a chair...
If in one hand breastfeeding mothers are protected if deciding
to breastfeed in public, we are also offered these ‘appropriate’ spaces to do it.
What I really think that we are being offered truthfully is merely hiding
spaces, so that we breastfeed away from the public eye. Well, I do it, and I am protected when
choosing to do so.
I understand if for some mothers you would prefer to breastfeed
in a more private space. And again, it’s great if we have spaces to do it. But I really don’t understand the general idea of adjoining the nappy changing
facilities with the breastfeeding ones. Honestly, do you like to eat in the loo?
I don’t, and I don´t think that my baby does as well.
And what about you, how do you feel about breastfeeding in public?
I am linking up with this amazing blogger:
I am not a big fan of breastfeeding in public - have no problems with others doing it, have done it myself, but personally I do prefer to go to one of those breastfeeding places. I just feel more comfortable in a place like that. I have fed in (nice, clean and non-smelly) disabled toilets too. I guess I just like the privacy. It is tricky though as private places aren't always available.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a really complicated matter, breastfeeding in public, and I completely understand why a mother would choose a private place to breastfeed, what I really have some difficulties in understanding is the idea of having the nappy changing facilities adjoined with the breastfeeding ones....
DeleteI was terrified of breast feeding in public. Especially with a baby that was constantly on again off again! But I was terrified because of all the stories you hear in the media. In my experience no one took any notice of me. I think we need more positive stories portrayed in the media to get rid of the stigma.
ReplyDelete#brillianblogposts
I have to say that I was scared of breastfeeding in public in the beginning too, and same as you, because of the stories you read and hear. But as I wrote, I have always done it so far without being criticized. Overall I believe I have a pretty good experience when breastfeeding publicly!x
DeleteI agree women must do what they feel comfortable with but society and the media needs to change and accommodate women so that they can make an informed choice. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts
ReplyDeleteExactly! But I still think that most breastfeeding mums are not aware of all the choices they have...!Thank you for hosting! :)
DeleteGreat post. I totally agree that no mum should be made to feel bad about BF in public, yet I have often felt self conscious (and I'm a pretty confident person). Second time round, I'm much better at just doing it & not worrying what anyone thinks. I've never actually had any negative reactions, though, but had rehearsed a whole speech about it with my first daughter! I do also really like the availability of private spaces to feed in shops, if I don't want to stop for food/drink or am not wearing a great outfit for discreet feeding. I'm glad those spaces exist. Our local John Lewis and Debenhams rooms are actually very nice, especially the JL one which is just for feeding. I don't feel they are they to stop public feeding, just to give a choice but maybe I'm wrong! #brilliantblogposts
ReplyDeleteThank you! I might be a bit demanding... But I am glad for all the spots that allow privacy too. Unfortunately the ones I now are not they great....and that’s why I feel that these are more for hiding rather than having the comfort of a breastfeeding mum in mind. I also have some difficulties accepting is the constant adjoining of nappies changing facilities with the breastfeeding ones...x
DeleteSome great points. The issue of breastfeeding in public is a complex one and everyone from nursing mother's to shoppers feels differently about it. I'm happy to feed anywhere and anywhere now. Ikea have a space, and I have never used it as I don't feel I need to but others might find it helpful. Promoting BF is the importnant part and businesses should have pro breastfeeding policies. Adhering to the law is just not enough. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThank you ! I was not aware that Ikea had spaces for breastfeeding, its good to know that! As you at the moment I don´t have any issues about breastfeeding anywhere! I advocate breastfeeding in public, and I breastfeed in public :). x
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